Mark Lee | Blogito Ergo Sum

2010-11-07T07:26:00.002-07:00

Public Urination

I faked it.

I'd never done it before in my life, but sometimes when a person is presented with an experience so new that it has never before been contemplated, under a circumstance of crushing social pressure, he may just snap as I did. And so I faked it.

I made a little noise of accomplishment, engaged an appropriate hint of a smile, replaced myself, zipped up, and turned and worked my way through the crowd behind me.

A public restroom, especially a public men's restroom, urinal section, is a tough place to get work done. I'd gone into this restroom immediately after a show to handle a protest by my bladder. I had stood in line, shoulder to shoulder with other men and boys for a few minutes, about six or so across and initially another half dozen or so deep; about two-score human males shuffling to the urinals. Conversation, per protocol, was minimal to non-existent. There was the occasional muted exchange between father and son, or perhaps a little nervous noise between friends. But the men's restroom is - for all the auditory "brightness" of its hard surfaces - a reasonably quiet place, like the inside of a cathedral during contemplative time. Little or no eye contact. Heads slightly lowered. Sniffles, scuffling of feet, movement of clothing, the small community sounds of solitary ritual.

And so, on this occasion as a teenager after seeing one of the Pink Panther movies, I inched forward. By the time I finally had access to one of the urinals, I was surrounded by male humanity, each one waiting in varying stages of anxiety for a spot like mine. I unzipped my pants, produced the required body part, and... nothing.

Peeing in public is social convention. It has to be learned. Most men probably recall the kid in kindergarten or first grade who had not yet been taught how to pee in public. You'd see this boy standing at the urinal, buttocks perhaps covered by a shirt tail, or maybe not, his pants down on the floor around his ankles. This was simply the way the boy learned to do it at home. But he wasn't home any longer. He would eventually learn to keep his pants up and perform orthodox public peeing.

Another unwritten rule might be codified "do your business and leave." The pressure to perform and exit is strong, and increases - like air pressure - with the weight of extra mass. I stood at the urinal and could feel the need behind me, the milling anxiety. Judgment, perhaps? Did they know? It was performance time, and I was cracking. I'm not sure exactly why my need wasn't sufficient to carry me through that day, but facts are what they are. I was dry.

But how could anyone know, really? As the normally alloted time, about fifteen to thirty seconds, edged toward the red-zone, I realized that I could emerge from this whole in the minds of mandom by simply appearing to have done what I came to do. And so I did.

I don't remember when I finally, actually went to the bathroom. That doesn't matter. And I've not suffered the same performance-related problem since. But I have had to ask myself a question: With the benefit of experience and better self-understanding, and being a somewhat more confident, mature adult man, if I ended up in the same situation again would I once again fake it?

Damn right I would.

2010-03-11T08:24:00.002-07:00

Spanish Verb

Tenedorar: To fork around (with), both transitive and intransitive.

Usage: Pablo tenedora con la bicicleta. Paul forks around with the bicycle.

"¡Oye, Rosa, deja tenedorar!" "Hey, Rosa, quit forking around!"

2009-04-05T14:19:00.004-06:00

Nick, Again

I see Nick all of the time. We chat about whatever's going on in our lives.

Yesterday he looked like it was having a bit of a rough time. This was just my obesrvation; Nick doesn't complain. He explained that he was just coming out of a bit of pneumonia and had a new appreciation for the importance of breathing. He had taken for granted the ability to and importance of breathing all of the way in and all of the way out. He observed, in a somewhat clinical fashion, that it's possible to feel little explosions inside your lungs when things aren't working the way they should. He paused to cough lightly from time to time throughout our conversation.

I'd been feeling bad about some things I thought were problems in my life: Car trouble, not as much money as I wish, missing my partner. Nick sort of helped me adjust my perspective on how much I have to be grateful for. Again.

2008-12-20T16:10:00.004-07:00

Times Square

About a month ago, while Asher and I were visiting Stephanie in New York, we went out of our way one night to go where most New Yorkers avoid on a weekend: Times Square. The purpose of the visit was twofold; to show Asher the place, and to get some photos out of it.

We called Max in Salt Lake City and he got onto a computer and brought up the Times Square Earthcam, a fine collection of cameras in and about Times Square. Without further ado, here are the two images he captured, the first being tiny Steph, Ash, and Mark in the triangle area in the middle of the photo at 46th St. and Broadway (Cam 2), and then just to the northeast outside TGI Friday's at their cam (Cam 4).

2008-12-16T14:28:00.004-07:00

Creation

There are those who suggest that the closest humans can get to the traditional view of the Creator God is when they assemble music or words in a unique way, in a form of practically pure creation. The act, of course, doesn't actually occur on paper. It happens in the mind. The mental creative act is often distilled on paper, and then performed with voice or instrument.

One of the highlights of my visits to the food bank is listening to Oren share some of his own poetry. Today we enjoyed both light and sober verses about Christmas, and some darker ones about war and pain. The last one Oren didn't even want to give a voice to, he just passed it to me to read silently.

He was exercising the creator's prerogative.

2008-12-08T20:20:00.004-07:00

Nick and Legacies

I had to run into Evanston, Wyoming today to pick up a couple of things for my office. I had to stop to show my receipt to the the "greeter" (a euphemism for "gonna try and catch you stealing our crap") because a couple of the things were too big and heavy to put into bags, and so were just in my cart. He was very nice about it. I've seen this guy around before. We've exchanged light pleasantries on other occasions.

Once cleared, I dug in and started moving the heavy cart when the standard, parting "have a nice day" went from the mundane to the personal. As I was leaving he said "you look like the sort of guy who has nice days." Interesting. I had thought the same thing about him but just hadn't bothered to find a rhetorical formulation, so I told him so. We chatted a bit

He told me he'd been diagnosed with congestive heart failure some time before, and it had gotten pretty bad. But he'd survived, and since that time he'd had lots of good days. I couldn't help but feel that the quality of the days he'd had lately had more to do with his spirit than the way his body felt.

Nick (we shared names officially) told me that it was important to him that he leave some sort of legacy, in his children, with people he knew, maybe even with a stranger impressed by an act of kindness, so that when he was finally gone he wasn't really gone. And so Nick has ended up in this humble blog, for however long it lasts.

And a little bit of him has ended up in me.

2008-11-19T08:12:00.004-07:00

Teaching, Shaping, Equipping, and Synthesis

I had a chance yesterday (and will again next week) with my buddy the local Highway Patrol officer to sit with our local kids all day, session after session, and teach them about a very narrow aspect of public safety, the local 911 system.

These kids are smart. They largely accept most of the things we tell them, but there are a few little skeptics and questioners out there. I must confess a certain special affection for those who want to know a little more or who are prepared with some sort of sensible (by juvenile standards) challenge to something I've got to share. Maybe it's because I've had a few of those kids in my own family. Maybe it's because my best relationships have involved somewhat contrasting views on some issues. The woman with whom I plan on spending the rest of my life and I talk for hours, and I learn the most when I'm required to articulate my position in the context of her intelligent examination.

We're not brainwashing anyone in these classes, and our future looks bright when I see these smart little stinkers smiling back at me. Especially when I see the edges of a question form on a face, a question that links something given with something already possessed.

2008-11-07T18:52:00.003-07:00

That Which Remains

This bowl was overflowing with candy the day after Halloween.

We're a tiny Sheriff's Office, and kids have come by during Trick or Treating ever since I've been around. So we always have tons of candy for October 31st, and lots of "leftovers" after.

The first to go in those heady days in very early November are the chocolatey and peanutbuttery things; the Reeses, Kit Kat, Snickers... you get the drift. Also popular for those moments when you can't even look at the chocolate without suffering involuntary uvula twitches are the gummy sorts of candies such as the Dots and Twizzlers.

But eventually all the "good stuff" is gone. At that stage, the office scrounge is left looking at what you see here.

Tootsie rolls and pops.

Oh, they're not bad. In a way I feel sorry for them, just like I did for the chubby kid when we were picking kickball teams, or as I felt for myself during "girls' choice" dances of my early teen years when I was sprouting my most spectacular acne.

But it's easier to pass by the bowl now without feeling those pangs I felt just a few days ago.

2008-10-29T14:21:00.004-06:00

Like A Squirrel

Long time, no blogging.

With work, midterms, and trips to New York and California with Steph, it's just been a busy, busy time. I feel like a squirrel getting ready for winter. And I'm so thankful. Life is good, my partner is well, my kids are fine, they still need me at work, my brain is not yet pudding.

I am blessed beyond anything I deserve.

2008-10-03T15:50:00.004-06:00

Randy and the Rainbow

I was driving down the highway in the rare early fall rain and saw the flashers of the car in the highway. I wondered what was going on for a moment. Then I saw the tractor in the water. A man was in trouble and the car was Randy's. Randy had gone into the cold, murky agricultural ditch water to help. He was up to his waist.

An ambulance came. A wrecker. Friends and neighbors. The whole world. We're a tiny community and one person's big problem results in lots of helping hands.

And I had a real treat as I drove home, wet, and the sun gave us one last "look what I can do."

2008-09-26T16:04:00.004-06:00

"Be Pretty"

I went into Randolph, Utah today to do a little traffic control for our high school kids and their homecoming game parade. The homecoming royalty - kids who've been elected by their classmates for a distinguished position for the festivities - were in the back of this truck. I've known some of these kids most of their lives. I pulled up with my iPhone in camera mode as they milled about. I said "be pretty," snapped, and this is what I got.

It was more than I'd hoped for.

2008-09-24T05:37:00.003-06:00

Oren and Cliff

One of the highlights of my week is the Tuesday morning time I get to spend with my friends at the food bank in Evanston, Wyoming. It's not an overstatement to recognize that I may get more benefit from the association of the people there than the benefit I actually render through any service performed. For example, Kay, whose photos have shown up in so many of my blog posts everywhere during the last six or seven years (like here and here), is a constant example of "walking the talk."

Oren and Cliff are two of my back room buddies. There aren't actually any set jobs at the food bank, but people sort of gravitate into areas in which there's a need. These two men and I spend most of our time in the preparation area packaging foods that will end up in the client area. I have enjoyed the hours we've passed as we've busied our hands while listening to Cliff's observations on life and Oren's poetry and groan-eliciting, pungent puns. And I watch them and hope to emulate.

Their fellowship is the best sort of religion.

2008-09-19T12:05:00.003-06:00

Mr. Kay

A couple of my kids have commented to me over the years that one of the teachers who most influenced them in high school is this man. He's an English teacher, an engaging man who requires performance from his students. He's also sensitive to his kids and appropriately flexible in his approach to them. He shows up as one of a few local Democrats in our very small, largely Republican community, in this video.

Thank you, Mr. Kay.

2008-09-14T00:24:00.003-06:00

I Don't Love It Like I Love Her...

...but I still love this phone.

Is it wrong to love a phone?

2008-09-12T02:17:00.003-06:00

Peek-a-boo

I love playing peek-a-boo in store lines. I mean, it's not as though I duck down behind the magazine rack then bounce up with a shout. No, it's much more subtle than that. This kid's mom didn't seem to care. This kid was probably wondering why I was holding my phone up. I hadn't done that before.

2008-08-30T20:05:00.003-06:00

On The Other Hand...

...helmets don't make one bullet-proof. We had to get his cellphone out of the body bag to find an important phone number.

This young man is survived by a gorgeous bride and a baby, if the photo in the wallet tells the story.

2008-08-30T09:50:00.001-06:00

Helmets

Wear 'em. Two guys on a motorcycle hit a black cow on a dark mountain highway last night. Full speed. It's hard to kill a cow with a motorcycle, but these guys did.

They also are broken up a little, but their heads are fine. They'll live.

Helmets. Wear 'em.

2008-08-27T14:39:00.004-06:00

People in a Can

Flying puts people from widely divergent backgrounds in close proximity. We share the same air and rub up against each other. It's artificial and potentially precious. The two men asleep in the top left photo didn't even know each other prior to this flight and had a lively, friendly discussion about their completely different political views before passing out. The woman to my right and I shared a nod over our common love of fresh fruit inflight. And so on.

2008-08-18T08:00:00.003-06:00

Rodeo

The end of summer is high time for rodeo out West. This weekend, both Friday and Saturday in the Rich County seat of Randolph were consumed by rodeo. It's little surprise to those who know me that I'm not a rodeo guy, but my peeps are into it and I spectate. I enjoy watching some of the roping but the bullriding always makes me nervous.

2008-08-14T17:56:00.002-06:00

Aussie Jill

A coworker and I were on the road today, headed to Provo, Utah for an interview of a witness to an alleged crime. The default voice on the GPS receiver is starting to fill me with guilt each time "she" laments "recalculating" at what she believes to be every driver error. So we decided to give a new voice named "Jill" a chance. Jill is supposed to be Australian.

Now I don't know if it's just me, but Jill's got a bit of hotness going on here.

I love the way she says "Charleston Road."

All the same, I can't abide sexual tension with my GPS. I'm returning to the old, familiar, disappointed voice. With an apology for having strayed for a day.

2008-08-10T23:13:00.003-06:00

Broken

This small aircraft tire was over a football field's distance away from the crash site. They probably enjoyed a wonderful morning in the air before falling from the sky onto our beach.

2008-08-08T19:33:00.002-06:00

The Magic Is Strong Down There, Close To The Ground

We had a little parade yesterday, a dinky thing by anyone's standards. But the city folks who showed up had a great time. They're the same people every year, many of them urban or suburban families who own property in our little vacation spot. And their kids absolutely loved the tossed candy. When you're little and people are throwing sugary things at you, all is well.

Many parades have ceased throwing candy for liability reasons; tampered treats, people falling down or getting run over by parade vehicles, etc. ad nauseaum. I hope we can keep doing what we do for many years.

2008-08-07T10:29:00.002-06:00

The Fountain of Youth

This ninety-six year old local fellow and I struck up a conversation the other day. He credits his longevity to hard work, lots of loving people in his life, and one Mountain Dew every day.

What can I possibly say?

2008-08-05T00:00:00.004-06:00

Crash

Regular blog passers-by may have noticed that over the last couple of months my blog photos (here, at the "You Are What I Eat" blog with Steph, at MySpace, etc.) have sometimes shown up, sometimes not. The short version of this tale of woe is that I have run my own webserver since early '06 and have hosted several years worth of my own blog photos - far more than Photobucket or Picturetrail would allow - as well as video and audio files, and other stuff for friends including a couple of websites for causes I support. And my server, over the recent months, was dying a slow death.

Today it finally gave up the ghost.

I was able to rescue the websites and 99% of my images from backups and get another, hopefully more reliable box running Linux and the venerable Apache webserver software. The remains of my old server are against the far wall in the tan box. The newer, faster machine is the black box at the far right in the foreground. It's even hosting this photo below. Sort of funny when you think about it. It's hosting a picture of itself. Ha ha. Ha. Hee.

It's been a long day.

2008-07-30T19:19:00.001-06:00

Nighttime Rodeo Practice

With rodeos locally every weekend during the next month, locals are out late practicing their roping and riding skills. This shot was taken around 11 PM in Randolph, Utah.

2008-07-26T10:27:00.004-06:00

The Lovely Ms. Bullwinkle, Taken Before Her Time

This gorgeous young cow moose had the misfortune of wandering onto a mountain highway (the top of Logan Canyon above Garden City, Utah) last night. The small car that hit her and its occupants suffered damage too. Happily, the people will live.

Moose have reputations for being gangly and cantankerous animals. They are also, to me, very beautiful.

2008-07-24T11:16:00.002-06:00

Detritus

For the kids who stole this van, it was just something to do; a way of getting a free ride where they could steal beer from convenience stores and not have a vehicle identification matter since they were going to dump it anyway, after trashing it.

For the owner, it may have been loss of work transportation, violation of sacred space, a terrible expense and - understatedly - an inconvenience.

And so I pick up the pieces, largely a spectator. Until it's my turn.

2008-07-20T22:58:00.002-06:00

EMT Dress Code

The three people in church clothes are local EMTs from Woodruff at a car crash in the mountains. Okay, so we don't really have a dress code. The reason they're in church clothes is because they were in church when their radio pagers and cell phones went off.

I love our volunteers EMTs.

2008-07-16T15:49:00.002-06:00

Eating Outside

One can only enjoy a porch meal for a few months out of the year where I live. So we do when we can. If the vegetable curry looks good to you, you may watch the video at our other blog.

2008-07-10T08:59:00.002-06:00

Lake Rescue

I went out the other night on beautiful Bear Lake with the State Parks guys and Rich County Search and Rescue. We practiced recovering injured people from the water.

It's a cold water lake. I'm still descending, if you get my drift.

2008-07-06T12:41:00.001-06:00

Dynamic Duo

Kay and Melba (left to right) are two of my dear friends at Church. They both sing in the choir which is what they're doing here. Kay runs the Evanston, Wyoming food bank and Melba has been there also at her side for many years.

I love strong women.

2008-07-04T11:38:00.003-06:00

Butterfly Girl

We just finished our 4th of July parade in Woodruff. People, including this girl who was in the parade, are going home to change for the rest of the day's festivities. As she rode her bike, her wings actually flapped.

Like a butterfly.

2008-07-03T20:35:00.002-06:00

Night Sights

For the first nineteen years of my law enforcement career I carried handguns that didn't have night sights, or little tritium ampules that glow in the dark. Back then they taught cops to shoot in the dark.

Now I have my first new service gun with the glowing sights. And some law enforcement trainers are wondering about whether or not it's a good idea to launch bullets into the pitch black. They have to end up somewhere.

2008-06-30T16:48:00.001-06:00

Mountain Flowers

Flowers only have four or five months to make a living in the mountains above where I live. They make pretty good use of that time.

2008-06-24T09:58:00.002-06:00

Happiness

The connection between company and food is intimate and sacred. There's nothing better than a homemade, love-filled meal with those (or the one) you love most.

2008-06-19T07:09:00.003-06:00

Sky Medics

I live in a very rural area. Sometimes, like say when a baby gets really, really sick, we call in the air ambulance to meet our ground EMT crew. A couple of days ago we made a transfer on the high school football field. It wasn't the first time. As the air ambulance flew away caring for its precious passenger, the few people who'd been drawn by the activity were treated to the sight of angels on wings.

2008-06-17T22:26:00.002-06:00

Preview of Heaven

Oren and Pastor Joe chat during a moment of "down time" at the food bank Tuesday morning. Oren is LDS. Joe leads a group of Baptists. We've got Catholics, Mormons, Protestants and non-religious people who all come together and just enjoy a service fellowship. I wonder if this is how heaven will look?

2008-06-15T20:26:00.003-06:00

Beautiful Backside

Much like a beautiful woman, the modern video display has a gorgeous derriere. Seriously. There's room for so much activity back there.

2008-06-14T17:51:00.004-06:00

Agricultural Artery

If water is the lifeblood of agriculture, then the venerable irrigation canal is its artery. One of the first things the white pioneers did after arriving here was carve canals into the land to bring water to the fields. Without that water the ground is nothing more than rangeland. Out West, people have died for water.

2008-06-11T22:03:00.002-06:00

Snow in June

That's right. The flakes were falling this morning at 8 A.M. Mother Nature has a cold, mean heart.

2008-06-08T12:40:00.001-06:00

Choir Loft

I love sitting in the choir loft at Church. I'm not in the choir, but I like the people who are and it's fun to be hidden high up, in the back.

I'm a worship voyeur.

2008-06-05T00:47:00.002-06:00

The Rain in Spain Falls Mainly on the Plain

. . . but around here it falls everwhere.

Here in northeastern Utah we're supposed to be "semi-arid." We're like a mountain jungle these days. I'll bet we could grow rice.

2008-05-29T15:12:00.002-06:00

Can Opener

That's what the "jaws of life" is. A great big can opener. And the motor vehicle is the can. The people are the good stuff inside.

We like to get to the good stuff.

This guy will be okay. His little truck won't.

2008-05-27T18:10:00.003-06:00

Memorial Weekend

I recalled my beloved dead. And since The Woman was visiting, I loved being alive.

2008-05-22T00:01:00.002-06:00

Nuts.

It's about that time again in Woodruff, Utah. The annual Testicle Festival kicks off tomorrow. I once suggested that the associated dance be called the "Nut Ball." No one thought that particularly funny. Gonad humor can be risky.

2008-05-21T17:15:00.003-06:00

Instructions

This is a roadside sign used to alleviate the concerns of motorists as they come across plumes of smoke rising skyward due to scheduled brush burnings.

What would happen if you stuck this in front of the house of someone who had displeased you? What if that house just happened to be on fire?

:-)

2008-05-16T06:56:00.003-06:00

A Mighty Yellow . . . Thing

Just because you can build something doesn't mean you should.

I'm not sure what these guys are up to in Garden City, but it looks like it might evolve into That Yellow Thing that people will use as a local landmark simply because people who see it will be unable to scrub the vision from their brains.

2008-05-13T04:44:00.003-06:00

Middle School Choir Program

What else could bring roughly 15-20% of the entire resident population of my county into one stuffy little cafeteria? The kids performed their guts out. And this year, breaking a tradition going back a couple of years now, not one of the singers fell over or passed out. I used to love it when the kids fainted.

Maybe next year.

2008-05-11T06:24:00.002-06:00

Vrooom, Vrooom

I believe that many of the coolest-looking cars were made right about or just before the time I was born.

I love fins. Big fins.

2008-05-10T15:17:00.003-06:00

Of Boys and Mongooses. Er, mongeese?

Weekends around my house often involve lots of young men on computers and gaming consoles. In the photo below, Asher and Zane are playing (respectively) World of Warcraft and Diablo online. Next to Zane (background) are empty Mountain Dew cans he used to fuel his up-to-5 AM gaming session last night.

Question: Zane was studying Max's arm and claimed that he was "as hairy as a mongoose." This led into a conversation about the word "mongoose" and its proper pluralization. Mongooses? Mongeese?

Solution: Webster online says both plural forms are correct with a preference to "mongooses." The word "mongoose" has a Hindi origin and is not related to the English word "goose."

Just in case it ever comes up in any of your conversations.

2008-05-09T09:55:00.002-06:00

Brian

This young man has been my number three son Max's best pal since kindergarten. Normally Brian doesn't get dressed up, but - as evidenced last night at the Rich High Senior Banquet - he certainly cuts a fine figure when he does.

2008-05-08T23:13:00.002-06:00

Oops.

It's a big deal when you miss a corner in a big truck loaded with packaged milk. Happily, the driver came out of this with a few minor glass cuts. The scene was Logan Canyon, above Bear Lake.

2008-05-07T11:49:00.003-06:00

Panties on the Roadside

What does it mean? What does it mean when you find underwear on the side of the highway?

I suppose it means either something terrible, or something wonderful.

2008-05-02T23:52:00.002-06:00

Spring Has Sprung

Remember the old poem?

Spring has sprung,
The grass has rizz,
Where last year's careless
Drivers is.

This guy didn't die, but his poor Jeep Grand Cherokee did. It's Spring. And the trickle of crashes we're having now will turn into a flood during the next months.

2008-04-23T07:52:00.002-06:00

Please Don't Pee in my Alley

I think this Brooklyn alley administrator has made his position pretty clear. For my part, I decided not to pee there.

2008-04-14T22:14:00.003-06:00

Dumb Ass

I'm a peaceful fellow, but a bit of a contrarian. So when I see something like this hanging from someone's front door, I can't help but experience a mild urge to put on knee high rubber boots and slosh around in cow manure before dropping by for my next visit.

2008-04-13T17:20:00.002-06:00

My Buds

Well, they're not really mine. I noticed these buds and thousands of friends on the trees managed by the municipality of Evanston, Wyoming along old Main St. today. The kids were in Church class, I was out for a walk after coffee, and the morning was gorgeous. Spring comes late anyway to my part of the country, and this winter was particularly long, so these little buds are a very welcome sight.

2008-04-12T23:21:00.002-06:00

Dusty Records

I was rummaging around in the attic of the county courthouse and ran across a tax register for our area that pre-dates statehood. The people in the book are long dead. The hand that wrote the entries has been stilled.

People just don't write like that anymore.

2008-04-11T19:36:00.002-06:00

Cookies

We've got a problem at work. We keep goodies in common in the kitchen including a plastic container of assorted cookies. I, being a trained investigator, am noticing a problem.

All of the light-colored cookies are being picked before the dark colored cookies. Now I don't want to point a finger at my co-workers, but I know that I'm an equal opportunity cookie eater. I think we might need to institute a program to combat the apparent cookieism that's going on here.

2008-04-11T00:34:00.003-06:00

School

Back in January I returned to school. It had been over twenty years since I'd sat in a college classroom. Times have changed.

This is one of my rooms. I'm the only student at my physical location. I'm connected via the internet with another dozen students at five or six sites with the professor. I've got a microphone and a camera pointing at me. I participate.

And I've learned that I can still make an ass of myself.

2008-04-08T19:57:00.003-06:00

Voicemail

I didn't ask for it. In fact, I was asked about it and I said I preferred to not have it. Just take a message. Scribble me a note. But someone forced it upon me. Voicemail at work, with the new phone system.

I don't know how to run it. The gorram phone told me my password had expired and won't let me into the system. So people are being sent to my voicemail box and are leaving stuff there and I can't get to it.

I hope it fills up quickly and breaks.

2008-04-06T18:34:00.003-06:00

A Sign of Holiness

I've never understood the predilection of my countrymen (because certainly no woman would display such a lack of sense) for shooting signs. Don't they know that bullets go places after penetrating the thin metal?

On the other hand . . .

What if it's the tourists?

2008-04-04T08:59:00.003-06:00

Casualty of War

It's hard to know what happened for sure. Words like "meth" and "I love her" and "I need my stuff" waft over the wreckage of the home, which spills out onto the snow. People are the most important thing, but a year or two ago I sat in this home and played this guitar. Now it's gone, just another casualty in this messy little war.

2008-04-03T17:51:00.001-06:00

Dirty, Dirty Boys

With all the melting going on now that temperatures are reliably above freezing while the sun's up, it's hard to go anywhere without getting dirty.

2008-04-01T22:57:00.002-06:00

Jim

Jim and Bonnie are our long-time piano tuners and friends. They're passing through the area servicing local clients. They live a day's journey away in Idaho. This week, they're camping in their trailer in my yard.

Jim tunes the A strings from a fork and does the rest by ear. This is old-school tuning, and it's a pleasure to watch him work.

2008-03-30T08:48:00.004-06:00

Country Dance

Last night was the 2008 Rich High combined Senior Ball/Junior Prom. This is one of the social high points of the community. Moms and dads, grandparents and younger siblings often dress up and show up. In my sparsely populated neck of the woods, people take opportunities to get together very seriously. It's part Little House on the Prairie, part Northern Exposure, and part Twilight Zone sometimes. Only very rarely part Deliverance. :-)

2008-03-29T14:56:00.002-06:00

Steph

I've loved this woman since before I met her. After meeting her last summer, I just kept loving her more. And so it goes, now and forever.

2008-03-28T10:35:00.003-06:00

Rain

Rain, not snow. We're making progress in northeastern Utah. We've moved past equinox and the days are still getting dramatically longer as we begin - even before we're warm - to put the brakes on the sun as we move toward June's solstice. The sun, when it's out, is warm on the face. Our bodies of course are still covered.

I can live with the rain.

2008-03-26T17:17:00.002-06:00

Danica

My gorgeous niece performed a miracle and had another little human being come out of her body. The new little person is named Danica. New people don't smell like the rest of us; they've got a nice milky, lightly powdery sort of smell. This world will rub off on her soon enough, but for now Danica gets to sleep a lot and have her mom tend to her squirmings.

2008-03-25T16:02:00.002-06:00

Good Religion

I've gone to churches all my life, but the best religion I've ever found is in the company of the people who serve at the local food bank. I've been hanging out with Kay, Tom, Grant, the other Grant, Melba, Lynn, Lucy, Arlene, Sue, Pam, Terry and the gang since last fall.

We're getting ready for pre-opening prayer circle here. "Prayer followed by action" is the lesson I've learned from these angels.

2008-03-24T13:56:00.002-06:00

It's a beautiful, clear day, about 45F. That's pretty warm for us. The clouds have taken some time off, so the jets are painting the sky.

People going here and there. I used to keep my feet planted firmly where I am, but I've recently found a great deal of enjoyment taking to the skies too.

2008-03-23T07:28:00.002-06:00

One of my favorite parts of the Easter Vigil is when at the very beginning there is just one light - the Easter Candle. From that light, others receive light. They, in turn, pass it on to yet others. And so on, until the population is a sea of little lights all having the same source.

I love that.

2008-03-22T07:11:00.002-06:00

The cream of society, they are. I'm talking about my EMT buddies. These are the people who voluntarily put service to others sometimes over their own needs. It's a powerful motivational energy.

We had training last night.

2008-03-21T16:40:00.003-06:00

Even though the days are growing longer as fast as they ever will today and tomorrow, we're still getting new snow.

Thank goodness it usually melts the same day and just leaves us the old stuff that's been around since December.

2008-02-08T03:05:00.001-07:00

It was a heck of a storm, kids. One for the books. I think I responded to about seven or eight cars off the road. Everyone else did too. It was nuts. The wind was so strong that it blew you across the icy road when you were standing still.

2008-02-04T11:21:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe that it was almost exactly five years ago I set this thing up. At the time I was messing around mostly at Worldcrossing. I was somewhat lonely and struggling to find my way into a happy future. Since then I've been hanging out at MySpace and Facebook. And I'm finding my way into that good life. :-) Maybe it's time to come back to this thing and chill awhile.

2003-09-17T15:13:00.000-06:00

Does this thing still work?

2003-02-12T16:48:00.000-07:00

Fishers of Men

Wow. A man drowned two days ago where I live. Because of my job, I've been sort of learning a little about him. We've found his boat, his life jacket. Maybe his hat. He's probably down at the bottom of the lake, waiting for us to come get him.

Oh, sure. He's really "gone." I believe that. Just his "shell" remains. But his family expects us to help them close this up neatly. That means they want his shell. I can't say that I blame them.

He was just a regular guy who lived about 40 miles away from the lake he drowned in. He loved this place. He bought his gas, his chips, his soda pop locally. He was a quiet guy who liked to just get away from it all on the water.

I don't know how soon he saw his end coming up on him. When he went over, did he struggle for a few seconds? A few minutes? Longer?

When the divers go down tomorrow, I hope they find him.

2003-02-05T13:30:00.000-07:00

Ear Hair

One of the proofs I ponder as evidence that God has a sense of humor is ear hair. "The Lord giveth, the Lord taketh away." No kidding. He takes away from the head and gives to the ear, nose and shoulders. Ha ha.

I was just about ready to feel really sorry for myself when I found this article about the longest ear hair in the world. After regaining control over my rapidly bobbing uvula, I was able to actually marvel at the man's accomplishment.

But I'd rather be dead than look like that.

2003-02-04T11:33:00.000-07:00

The Value of Pone

Don't you just hate it when you wind up with a bunch of corn pone, yet have no idea how to use it? Well, here's a great corn pone recipe. Also, now that I think about it, "corn pone" might make a great conditioned response expletive to, say, stubbing your toe. Let's all teach our children to reflexively cry "corn pone!" upon some startling, painful injury.

2003-02-03T09:50:00.000-07:00

It was a cold one this morning. About 6" of snow, too. I'm recalling a delicious lament of Homer Simpson as he wondered just how he had ended up at the bottom of society. Then he recalled that it must have been during the last cold snap that "killed off the hobos."

I think I just took a deep dip myself in the social strata.

2003-02-02T16:15:00.000-07:00

I just went outside and wiped out in the snow. I take all the nice stuff that I said about it back.

2003-02-02T15:06:00.000-07:00

It snowed today. I love the way that frozen insulation muffles the world. For all of our collective achievements, we can't make anything quite like snow.

2003-02-01T17:26:00.000-07:00

I couldn't find any of my underwear today, so I wore some of my sons' "tight whites." I have four sons, and I'm not sure whose, exactly, I ended up with. But, gosh, they're tight. It really is a good thing that I'm no longer breeding, because after about eight hours of this tight underwear, I feel reasonably certain that I no longer have testicles. I have ovaries. In fact, I believe the the key to the future of ensuring the morality of the youth of our nation is this: Tight underwear.

Tight underwear means sexual suffocation. I can feel myself suffocating alrighty.

2003-02-01T11:29:00.000-07:00

If it's good enough for Dave Barry, it's good enough for me. When you stop and thing about it, "Blog" is very similar to "Borg." And, with the advent of the Global Bloggerization, resistance may be futile after all.

The shuttle broke apart just a few hours ago. It's a rather muted day.